


cold blue rain

by sweaterwearinlesbian



Category: Death Note & Related Fandoms
Genre: I Tried, L was ambiguous about if he loved light or not, M/M, au where light isn't kira, haha - Freeform, matt is chill, mello is mellow, spoilers: he did
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-06
Updated: 2018-05-06
Packaged: 2019-05-03 03:57:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,650
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14560350
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/sweaterwearinlesbian/pseuds/sweaterwearinlesbian
Summary: a soft fic about what would happen if L still died, Light wasn't Kira and Mello ran away to Japan instead of the US





	cold blue rain

The funeral wasn’t eventful. Matsuda cried loudly, Light cried when he gave L’s elegy. Watari stood by and wished that he hadn’t outlived his ward. The rest of the task force was appropriately stoic and quiet. Misa didn’t come and Light wasn’t surprised by it. She was the second Kira after all, for all her protests. She was probably out celebrating with the first Kira. 

It pained Light to know that L died thinking he was Kira. He wasn’t. He would remember killing someone, he would remember wanting to kill someone. Would he remember something of that magnitude? 

The plan of action after L’s death was simple: catch Kira and make him pay. Light was fueled by a fire he didn’t know he was capable of having. His anger and guilt and love lit aflame by a monster with the mask of a god turned him into a revenge-fueled cold star. He stopped interacting with the task force other than when necessary. Only Matsuda was able to understand what he was feeling, what happened to his soul and passion for justice. 

Fifteen weeks after L’s death, the task force got an alert that someone who wasn’t registered in their system was knocking on the door. Light sent Mogi down to bring them up and Mogi returned with a blond teen who looked furious as Mogi gripped his forearm tightly. Light turned in his chair and his eyes locked eyes with someone just as anguished as he was and at that moment he knew that this boy was connected to L somehow. For the first time in months, Light smiled. “What’s your name kid?” 

The boy snarled “Mello. I’m here to kill the bastard Light Yagami.” Light laughed. 

“That would be me. Care to explain the threat to my life? I doubt you’ll do much damage with that pocket knife in your boot.” Mello looked positively insulted. 

“You sick son of a bitch, I was supposed to be L. I was supposed to surpass him!” Light looked at Mello and saw himself. 

“Prove yourself and you just might. Welcome to the Kira taskforce Mello. We could use that fire in your heart to bring down Kira.” Mello blinked in surprise: the bastard he came to kill offered him a job? 

“Fine. Where do I stay?” Light cracked another smile and the taskforce looked on in absolute befuddlement. 

“We have a number of rooms but level twenty is off limits.” Light knew exactly what he was doing. He knew that Mello would want to see level twenty now. 

“Fine. I’ll stay wherever I’d like. I’ll get my bags from my hotel room now.” Watari came in just then and nearly dropped the platter of sandwiches he was carrying at the sight of Mello. 

“Mello what on earth are you doing in Japan? Does Roger know you’re gone?” Mello shook his head defiantly. “Well, I suppose it’s good that you’re safe. Light, go with him to wherever he’s heading. L wouldn’t have wanted his children to get hurt.” Light flinched ever so slightly at the mention of L’s name but nodded regardless. 

“He wasn’t my dad Quillish! L wasn’t around enough to be any sort of father figure to me.” Light stood and a subtle hush fell over the room. 

“I’ll accompany Mello to wherever he’s staying currently. The rest of you should get back to work. Kira doesn’t rest so we shouldn’t either.” The nods reassured Light that this was the right path. 

The walk with Mello was silent, not that Light minded. His head was whirling with the possibilities bringing Mello would hold. Would he assist well or would he just drag the team down? Although they kept Matsuda on… “Sorry for wanting to kill you. I miss him. I resent you for taking his position when that’s all I’ve cared about getting since I was five years old.” Light was a little surprised that Mello apologized but he supposed it was better than just ignoring that it had almost happened. 

“I don’t mind. L and I wanted to kill each other more often than not. How old are you kid?” Mello tensed as they entered the hotel. 

“I turned sixteen in December.” They took the elevator up and Light was disgusted by how low quality the place this kid was staying was. 

“I’m turning nineteen next week. You’re just a little younger than my sister.” Mello’s hotel room was nearly at the end of the hallway and he opened it to reveal it was a trainwreck of wires and clothes. On the small chair in the corner, a boy with wild red hair lay backward, head towards the floor. The soft theme of a video game came from his DS and he didn’t even flinch when Mello threw his pocket knife at him. It bumped off his leg and he uttered a soft ‘Hey Mels’ before ignoring him again.

“Matt you moron get up, we have to get packing. We’ve got a job.” Matt flipped around with all the grace of a seal on land and stood. He towered over Mello and stood around the same height as Light. 

“Who’s that?” 

“That’s Light. He’s our employer.” 

“Didn’t you try to kill him?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh cool. I’ll get my computer.” He took down his setup with ease, comfortable in the jungle of wires and technology. Mello crumpled up the clothes on the floor and shoved them into two plain black bags. Light grabbed one and Mello grabbed the other. Matt hauled his suitcase of technology and the three of them set off on their way. Checking out was a simple return of the keys and a brandishing of L’s credit card on Light’s part. Sometimes it was nice being rich. 

Once again they fell into silence, with Light only speaking when Matt light up a cigarette. “Aren’t you a little young to be smoking?” 

“Aren’t you a little young to be criticizing my life choices?” Light grumbled. 

“Don’t smoke in the building you hear me? You’re working with police officers, they’ll probably fine you for smoking underage.” Matt sighed and put out his cigarette, tossing it over his shoulder. 

“You’re a right bastard Light Yagami. I’ll listen to you but I’m going to resent it.” Light cracked a smile and let them into the taskforce headquarters. 

Roger called later that day and yelled at Mello and Matt. No consequences came out of it but the two of them looked mollified. Somehow, Mello kept his word and didn’t check out the twentieth floor. They caught both Kira (a lawyer named Teru Mikami) and the second Kira (Misa Amane) three years later. It was only then that Mello got curious enough to check out the floor, but it wasn’t unprovoked. The night after Teru and Misa were sentenced to death, Mello wished for a midnight celebratory drink and was going to grab a bottle of wine for him and Matt to share. The elevator (the only one on their floor) was occupied and Mello saw it stop on the twentieth floor. Instead of taking the elevator, he took the emergency stairs, remembering their location from all of the surprise fire drills Light made them do. 

The door on the twentieth floor was more ornate than the other ones and opened up to a full-scale kitchen. Mello crept through it, glad he had worn socks out for the tile floor would’ve given away that he was there. The kitchen opened up into a living room, where Light knelt facing the wall of windows. He was clutching a white shirt. “We did it L. We really did. I only wish you could be here. I only wish you could’ve seen the look on Misa’s face when I was the one who handcuffed her.” There was silence for a moment, broken only by Light’s muffled sobs. “You know, it’s been almost four years since you died? I miss you more every day it seems. Would you believe me this time if I told you I loved you? Would you believe my innocence this time? I like to think you would. I like to think that you would love me right back. I like to think we could’ve helped the successors out together, raised them right together. Sometimes, even though they’re barely younger than me, I feel like their father. Mello’s grown up now, Matt along with him. Near is still a child but I think he understands more than I know. I think… I don’t think I can live on without you much longer. My purpose has been fulfilled. When I die, and I feel it’s coming soon, I’m going to make Mello L. At least we will see each other soon right?” Light’s sobs echoed around the room and Mello felt an urge to reach out to him. He moved forward and Light caught sight of him in the window. It had begun to rain. “Mello. What are you doing up here?” 

“I… finally got curious enough to visit this floor. These were L’s rooms weren’t they?” Light nods. 

“They were. We lived here together. I loved him.” Mello nods and they sit in silence. 

“I loved him too, or at least the idea of him. He’s gone now though so I moved onto loving other things. You should give it a try.” In the weeks following Light become incredibly more distant from not just the successors but everyone. He stopped visiting his parents and sister and one day, stopped leaving the taskforce headquarters entirely. 

The funeral wasn’t eventful. Matsuda cried loudly, Mello cried when he gave Light’s elegy. Watari stood by and wished that he hadn’t outlived his second ward. The rest of the task force was appropriately stoic and quiet. Near didn’t come and Mello wasn’t surprised by it. He was probably out celebrating since that meant he and Mello could become L.

**Author's Note:**

> finally am getting around to writing again. my muse is a fickle beast. hopefully i'll be writing more for Hard Times soon.  
> tumblr: @my-thunderstruck-world (main/multifandom) & my-thunderstruck-dn-obsession (DN specific sideblog)


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